Olympic Review #4: Musings

In my ongoing review of the Olympics, I've decided to scrap the "Sport vs. Not a Sport" format. First of all, it takes too long to write. Secondly, it's incredibly boring to read. So, here are some of my musings after watching the action in Beijing so far:


1. Have you heard of this Michael Phelps guy? It's been an underreported story, but apparently he won quite a few swimming competitions. I'm not sure how many ... I probably need to look that up.

I mean, I understand the guy is impressive, and he's a great athlete, etc., etc. But Greatest Olympian ever? I think we're going overboard here. The guy competes in a sport that gives out Olympic medals like their Cracker Jack prizes. There are 17 swimming medal events for men. In ALL of track and field (which includes the marathon and all of the throwing events) there are 23 medals! The guy essentially did two things: swim the butterfly exceedingly well, and swim the other strokes well enough to win the medley.

Is this better than Alexander Karelin, who was so dominant as a wrestler that people forfeited rather than take the risk of getting injured? (Probably so.) Is it better than Nadia Comaneci and the first Olympic Perfect 10? (Absolutely - that's not a sport!) Is it really better than Jesse Owens, who won 4 gold medals while going against Hitler and the racist head of his own American team? (Maybe? I kinda doubt it.)

Is it better than Carl Lewis? No Way!

Carl Lewis won medals in 4 Olympics! Not only that, he would have won another in 1980, if our genius president at the time hadn't boycotted the Moscow games. He won in the 100m and the 200m, as well as the long jump. He managed to be the best in the world at two COMPLETELY different track disciplines. Track doesn't hand out 5 different 100m medals like swimming ... you get one! Sure, Michael Phelps is a bad ass ... just don't tell me he's unquestionably the best Olympian ever.

2. I watch trampolining last night. That's right - trampolining!! I've watched some absurd crap during the Olympics, but this was amazing. Personally, I thought every competitor should have been required to make this sound during every jump.


3. Whenever I started my look at the modern mockery of the Olympics, it was basically because this cheese-sniffing, beret-wearing jerk decided that baseball and softball weren't worthy of being in the Olympics. Part of the reason is that the Olympic Committee is dominated by Europeans, and none of them are seemingly able to swing a bat. There was some perception that these were strictly American sports, despite the fact that Japan, Korea, Australia, and every Latin American country plays them.

My question would be: why the hell is Ping Pong still in the Olympics? First of all, it's no more a sport than foosball, pool, or darts! If you can play it in your Dad's rec room, I don't think it meets the IT'S A SPORT standard. Secondly, NO ONE but China is any good at it. Every freaking gold medal match I've seen has been China Vs. China.

Apparently, according to wine-swilling Frenchmen, if a totalitarian Communist regime that runs over its own citizens in tanks completely controls a sport, that's fine. If the fat Americans run the show, though, that has to go. I'm still shocked basketball is in the Olympics at this point. True, Europeans love it, but it still has the stink of American all over it.

4. Speaking of China, apparently the greatest country in the world was more than willing to allow protests, as long as people filed an application. According to this story, there have been 77 applications. Want to guess how many applications were approved? China's so great!

Well, I've got the gold medal basketball game paused downstairs, so I'm going to go watch us hopefully crush the Spaniards. Of course, I'll also be working at the same time, as I've brought work home this weekend.

Hey! That's why they pay me the small bucks!

Until next time,
The Jim