Haiku Wednesday IX: I Remembered

I did not forget
To post a haiku today.
I'm just running late.
(Composed on the way to work today. Sorry I didn't have something at my normal time.)

Until next time,
The Jim

Sometimes I Should Just Keep My Mouth Shut!

First, I whined about the fact that I had no money, hoping nothing major would break down until my wife got out of school.

Then, my fence fell down, and I joked that I was "... wait[ing] patiently for someone to call about the hot water heater exploding..."

(By now, ALL of us can see what's coming now.)

When we moved to the North Texas area, we already owned a house back in Louisiana. It was a relatively small house, and I had a solid, affordable mortgage on the place. The real estate market stunk at that time (as opposed to the goldmine it is today), and for various unimportant reasons, it was going to be difficult for us to move directly from one house to another. Given those criteria, we decided to rent out the house instead of selling it. We make just enough in rent to pay for the mortgage, so all we get out of the deal is the increasing equity and the hope that we'll eventually be able to sell the place for at least a modest profit.

I mention that fascinating tale of asset management because I received a call yesterday. My property manager dialed me up and informed me that ...



... wait for it ...



THE HOT WATER HEATER BLEW OUT!!

Sometime today, a plumber is heading over to install a new hot water heater for our tenant. Fortunately, there doesn't appear to be any damage to the floors or any other interiors, but it's still going to run me somewhere between $600 and $900! Needless to say, we will not be making a profit on our rental property this year.

Seriously, what are the odds? Am I approaching Nostradamus territory now? Does this mean everything I write will come to pass, or just the pessimistic, crappy things that I've come to expect? Because if I can only predict crappy things, that doesn't seem like much fun at all.

...

...

(...waits patiently for someone to call and offer a million-dollar job as the next writer on The Green Lantern ...)

Hey, might as well give it a shot.

Until next time,
The Jim

Haiku Wednesday VIII: Tell Me

Tell me, wooden fence,
Why you had to fall down now,
YOU WORTHLESS F%#KER!
(There's a chance I may still be a little bitter.)

Until next time,
The Jim

Timing is Everything

As recently discussed, I have no money. That's not to imply that I'm actually at the poverty line; however, between having just one income, growing debt, and rather significant tuition expenses, we're definitely sending more money out then we're bringing in. True, this strategy does seem to be acceptable for large governments and major financial institutions, but it doesn't tend to be a feasible long-term strategy for individuals.

Of course, we're not looking long-term right now. We're just trying to get through nursing school until Mrs The Jim (AKA My Future Retirement Plan) starts making bank. I believe my exact statement regarding this mindset was "... we're just standing pat and hoping nothing falls apart."

(Anyone who knows anything about me should, by this point, know where this is going.)

Friday, Mrs. The Jim and I spent the afternoon looking at decorating items for the house. (I only work until 11:30 on Friday.) Our purchases were pretty much limited to the Dollar Store, which I felt was within our budget. I also decided to splurge and spend $100 on a cheap, particle-board entertainment center from Wal-Mart, so that we could finally set up our TV and surround sound in the living room. This $100 piece of Wal-Mart sawdust was intended to be our "major purchase" for the next 9 months or so.

During our travails around town, there were some major wind gusts, which I'm starting to learn are rather frequent in the North Texas area. I didn't think much about it until I got home, let the dog into the back yard, and noticed the following:



I've been told my insurance doesn't cover this at all (something I already knew), although they are sending an adjuster out to look for any other wind damage (such as the roof). I've talked to the owner next door, and it doesn't sound like she's going to give me any hassle about splitting the costs of the repairs. (Of course, I'll feel easier about that whenever the bill gets paid.) I don't really know how expensive this is going to be, but I've got a handyman coming out to give me an estimate. True, I could probably do some of this myself, but it's almost impossible to build a fence on your own, and I don't have a lot of ready access to carpenter-type buddies to help.

Regardless, this just means we'll have to dip into our all-too-meager savings. That's OK, though ... I'm sure nothing else could possibly go wrong with the house.

...

...

(...waits patiently for someone to call about the hot water heater exploding as the front yard bursts into flames ...)

Until next time,
The Jim

I Just Want to Read the Sinestro Corps Book... Is that so Wrong?

On Wednesday, it was Tax Day here in the U S of A, which naturally lends one to think about finances. As I've stated in the past, we're living on the cheap these days, as we work to get Mrs. The Jim through school and into a Big Money (No Whammies) type of job. Until such time, we're living off of student loans and doing our best to spend as little money as possible. Of course, there are things that we really need to replace, but we're just standing pat and hoping nothing falls apart. Our mattress probably needed to be replaced four years ago, and she desperately needs another car instead of her ancient Honda CRV; however, there's not much we can do right now.

We can't really afford to get items we need, so we definitely can't spend much money on fun stuff. Mrs. the Jim isn't allowed to go wild on house decorations, travel, or luxury purses. For me, however, my biggest sacrifice is my comics.

While I've always loved comics, cartoons, and super heroes, I never really collected comics or read them much as a kid. I think the first time I started up was around when I hit 30. (That says something about me, although I'm not sure what.) The first two trades I purchased were Batman: Haunted Knight and Watchmen. A solid start, to say the least.


Because I started so late, there's a ton of books and back story out there for me. And, of course, I'm an OCD-level completist, so I have to start from the beginning and work my way forward. That means I can't just pick up a random Flash or Green Lantern book. No, I have to start from some arbitrary starting point and work my way through it. If there's a book I'm missing, everything goes on hold while I track down that book. I've been looking for a particular Green Lantern book for over 2 years now that's out of print. I may just have to skip it and move on.

When I was on my own with no real expenses, I had probably gotten up to around $100 to $200 a month on books ... that adds up! Given our current financial situation, though, I might spend $200 in a year, and that's only because of the occasional gift card.

What compounds the issue is that it's not like the comic companies have stopped printing books. I'm years behind of current continuity, so I have to avoid comic book web sites and blogs most of the time just so I don't spoil anything for the future. I don't even know what's good these days, because looking into that will probably ruin books I'll buy in the next decade!

There's so much stuff I'm jonesing for right now. I need to buy the rest of the Cerebus books, which would probably keep me busy for nearly a year (it's a LOT of material). Y the Last Man has been finished, and I need to buy that whole series, due to pure awesomeness. I just finished 52, so now I want to keep going with all of the DC stuff, but there's no way I can afford that commitment. Fables, Bone, The Walking Dead ... there's about a hundred things I need to be reading!

I bring this up because last week I discovered that along my route to work, unbeknownst to me, there's a comic book shop. This is not what I needed. It's like an addict having to pass a crack house every day to work. (OK, maybe not. Maybe it's more like a dude passing a book store, and not really something that's addictive and deadly. I might just be exaggerating there.) I don't exactly have the strongest willpower in the world, and now I have this twice-a-day reminder of what I'm missing? It SUCKS!

I'm thinking about applying for Comics-Buying Stimulus Funds, but I don't think they've started that program yet.

Until next time,
The Jim

Haiku Wednesday VII: Guardian

Oh, great golden horse!
You protect Chestnut Street from
The scourge of good taste.
(Written yesterday.)

Until next time,
The Jim

Gotta Love the Local Decor

I'll be the first to admit that I don't do much in the way of decorating the yard. I mow. I try to keep the weeds down. I occasionally use the edger. I sometimes trim the hedges out front. That's about it. When I lived at my former bachelor pad, the most I ever did was throw some ivy into an empty flowerbed around a 100-year oak. It was great, because it filled the area up without any effort or watering on my part.

I have no desire to do gardening or decorating. The only reason I do it myself as opposed to some service is because it's an easy way for us to save money, and we need every method of thrift we can find right now. Of course, it'd be nice to have a cool landscape in the backyard, but I'm not going to put forth that kind of effort. Whenever Mrs. the Jim starts bringing in the cash, I'll have my personal landscape architect (AKA The Official College Roommate of The Jim) design something for us. Until then, we'll make do with plain grass and occasional weeds.

I mention all of this because I want it perfectly clear that I do not perform yard decorating because it takes effort to do it right. I find it fascinating, then, when someone puts in even more effort to do it completely and absolutely wrong.

I recently had a dental checkup. My dentist (who I still think has one of the top 5 jobs out there) has an office in a small, refurbished house in the downtown area of our little suburb. On the way back to my office, I drove through the surrounding neighborhood and noticed what may be the greatest yard decoration of all time. Ladies & gentlemen, I give you ...





THE GOLDEN HORSE

OF NORTH TEXAS

This thing fills me with joy and wonder! First of all, why would you obviously put so much effort to install something so woefully hideous? Does this person have no friends or neighbors to point out how ridiculous this looks? What was the inspiration for this person to put out a giant horse, and where do you get such a thing? Can I get one as well, or is a special permit required? Why, oh why, would you paint it gold?

The only way this think could be better is if flames were shooting out of its nostrils. Well, now that I've seen the local standards, my landscape architect has something to strive towards.

Until next time,
The Jim

Haiku Wednesday VI: Wages

You, the taxpayers
Of this state, pay my wages.
Can I have a raise?
(Written back when I was woefully underpaid during my first few months as an employee of Louisiana.)

Until next time,
The Jim

Haiku Wednesday V: Shampoo

In my orange shampoo
There is a lot of honey.
I smell like a bee.
(True fact: I do not actually smell like a bee.)

Until next time,
The Jim