Is it That Time of Year Already?

So it's time for my annual review at work. This time I was asked to write a review of myself, which would then be incorporated with my boss's review. As one can tell by reading anything on this site, I tend to get long-winded, so what should have been a one-page synopsis became a six-page rambling report.

The following phrases were actually included in my self evaluation:

• fairly strong record of client interaction


• Developed a methodology for improving speed and accuracy


• I plan to further my growth in this area (That's what she said!)


• Establish a reputation of dependability and capability


• Established a cooperative and convivial work atmosphere (This is my favorite!)


• Significant initiative and cooperation


• Provide due diligence

Sounds like a heaping pile of crap, right? Upon further contemplation, here are some of the phrases I should have included, but didn't:

• Will expand my ability to pretend to work


• Will uncover the secret to the Super Soldier formula


• Have evolved into a being of pure energy that shall control all mankind


• Have never stabbed a co-worker (except for that one guy who CLEARLY HAD IT COMING!)


• Continue to perform at the same high level demanded by the voices in my head


• Grow in my mastery of Esperanto


• Only the third time I saved a bus full of nuns

The business world would be much more fun if I was running things.

Until next time,
The Jim