It Stinks and It's Not Sanitary!

First of all, I owe an apology to my large following of readers (which now numbers somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 or 7). Earlier, I promised you a post a day for a week, and I managed to let July 5^th go by undocumented. I could say that I've found that it's hard to produce a cogent item on a daily basis, or I could claim I was just enjoying the holiday weekend, but those excuses don't cut it. Not with my high standards! (Please see my weak July 4^th post as an example.)

Luckily, I have an out clause! I stated that I was going to do "a post a day." That could be interpreted as an average; so, if I had done seven posts on Day 1, I'd already be off the hook! Given that incredibly tenuous logic, I'll attempt to do 2 posts today. And as the ladies know, I'm more than enough man to bring it twice in a day. (Hey, I'm talking about writing. If you're getting some other connotation, than shame on you!)

Today, I thought I'd share yet another thrilling story from work. Right now, our small, start-up branch is a crappy one-room office housing two people. We can barely fit in the furniture we have, and we're still trying to find places to stuff office supplies, books, and other such items.

My officemate drinks coffee daily, whereas I'm infrequent with the java. We don't have a kitchen area, or a break room, or even a sink ... we just have the one room. So, when brewing a new pot, one of us would head to a bathroom, dump the grounds in the bathroom trashcan, rinse everything out, and then head back. This went on for a couple of months without incident.

In the interim, we barely had any place to throw things away. The janitorial staff provided us with one small trashcan, which we would overfill regularly during the day. I eventually went and got a shredder which came with a little trashcan, so that helped some.

Well, one morning, I walked into the office and found a new, black trashcan left for me by my desk. I considered that to be rather thoughtful of the staff ... until I noticed the note that was attached:


This little love note flooded my mind with questions, such as:

1. Why use "4-u"? Doesn't that sound like something you'd write in a yearbook, or a really weird boutique store? Come to A Can 4-U for all your can-buying needs!



2. Is that the longest sentence ever? There's no punctuation until the end of the note. Should I read that like a speed freak, without any pauses or breaks? P.S. It sounds funny that way. Go ahead and try it!



3. Why is it "not sanitary"? They supposedly empty that trash can daily, right? Are they not actually emptying the bathroom trash cans, and they're getting mold and nastiness as a result? If so, isn't there another, more "sanitary" solution - such as emptying the bathroom trashcans?



4. If dumping it in the bathroom isn't sanitary, how can dumping it in a little waste basket in my office be any better? Does my trashcan have magic, antiseptic properties or which I'm unaware?



5. It stinks? Really? It's in the bathroom! Isn't that where stinky stuff lives? I'm sure I've personally contributed far more offensive odors to that room than used coffee grounds.



6. Is it possibly considered stinky because it's unexpected? When you walk into a bathroom (especially a men's room), you can expect foul, excretory odors. There are some dank smells of mildew, and maybe even a little urine. While these may be unappealing, you know they're coming. But when you stroll in and the scent of used coffee fills the air, maybe it takes you aback. Personally, I find this hard to believe. I would much prefer the scent of used coffee than the regular aroma of the office bathroom. In fact, we should have been thanked for improving the general environment of the building.



7. Why bother specifying that we weren't to dispose of the grounds in both he men's and women's restrooms? Was this guy worried that we'd think putting it in the men's room was gross, but when my officemate dumps them in the women's room, that was completely cool?



8. What does "Thanks/cleaning" mean? Was that supposed to indicate that this was from the cleaning guy or the entire cleaning staff? Or was it a statement, such as, "Thanks for doing this. I'm cleaning right now, so I'm too busy to go into this further." I like to think it's the latter. That way, I feel I'm getting a little more insight into this delightful individual's daily grind.

The mischievous smart ass in me seriously thought about leaving a response for the cleaning staff with some of the snarky questions listed above. However, I recalled that the one janitor I had seen to that point was a small, muscular white dude with what looked like a large collection of prison tattoos. Needless to say, I felt thinly-veiled sarcasm may not be the best approach. Instead, we continue to dump coffee grounds in our new, super-sanitary trash can. True, it's probably a little ridiculous for the janitor to be giving me orders, but it's not important enough for me to end up getting shived.

Until next time,
The Jim