My Letter to the Good People at Dr. Pepper

To: Larry Young
CEO
Dr. Pepper Snapple Group

Mr. Young:

First of all, I would like to congratulate you and your company for continued success through these tough economic times. While I have no expertise in your field, I would assume that the soft drink market is one steeped in brand loyalty, and I can certainly imagine it is difficult to compete with two giant corporate empires, not to mention the scores of smaller companies. Regardless, it would appear that you continue to bring fresh approaches and original ideas to the design and marketing of your products, such as Snapple and Dr. Pepper.

It is in regard to the current advertising campaign for Dr. Pepper that I write to you today. I feel your "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor!" campaign is quite ingenious. It combines an original approach with a sense of nostalgia, which I imagine is a "home run" in the advertising field. The choices for the "doctors" have also been entertaining, as they've ranged from witty (Dr. Frasier Crane) to just plain cool (Dr. J). But then ...

Gene Simmons? Really? First of all, it doesn't even make any sense. Nobody calls Gene Simmons "Dr. Love" - it's just a song he wrote. Plus, "Dr. Love" is somewhere around the 15th best KISS song ever. You wouldn't feature David Bowie in an ad and call him "The Man Who Sold the World," would you? Even ignoring the fact that Gene Simmons is a pompous ass, his use in this ad campaign seems like a major reach!

True, you came back with Dr. Dre, which I thought made sense, but that ad left me pretty flat as well. Dre seemed like he was just there to promote his new album. He certainly took himself too seriously for an inherently silly series of ads. Personally, I feel that you need to "right this ship" before your advertising campaign fades away into oblivion.

The following are some examples of other "doctors" I feel would be fantastic additions to your campaign. I haven't fully fleshed these ideas out, so there may be some prohibitive concerns; however, I think ideas like these are what you need to invigorate your campaign.

Dr. Frankenstein:

First of all, the good news: it's a public domain character from the 19th century! You can use Frankenstein whenever and wherever you want, and Mary Shelley's estate gets NOTHING! Of course, there have been hundreds of interpretations, but I think the portrayal most popular in the current culture would be Gene Wilder's Young Frankenstein. I haven't seen Gene Wilder in much of anything recently, so you could probably get him for pretty cheap. True, this might require some compensation to Mel Brooks, but I can't imagine it'd be any more than what you had to shell out to the Frasier people. (As I said, I'm no expert in the field. I'm sure you have some highly qualified intellectual property lawyers who can work these issues out.)

You could tie in the 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper as being analogous to the multiple body parts used to create the "creature." (I'm just brainstorming here; you'll need some writers to flesh this one out.) You would probably want to include an Igor-like character, or even have Teri Garr reprise her role as well. (I'd also note that Teri Garr isn't exactly all over TV these days either, so you can probably get her as well.)

Dr. Hannibal Lecter:

It's my impression that classically-trained, British actors seem to be much less pretentious and self-aggrandizing than American "method actors". People like Dame Judy Dench and Patrick Stewart seem to have a real sense of humor about themselves, and I think Sir Anthony Hopkins is in that same vein. True, it seems crazy to think a knight would do an ad for a soft drink, but who would have thought Orson Welles would appear in Transformers: The Movie?

You could have Hannibal in his Plexiglas cell from Silence of the Lambs, turning around slowly to address the camera. He'd say something like, "As anyone knows, I'm a connoisseur of good taste. Exquisite artwork, fine wines, gourmet ... foods. [LONG, creepy pause before "foods", just to emphasize the whole cannibalism thing.] This could be a real hit.

Dr. Henry Kissinger:

I believe this one is extremely promising, as no one will see it coming. This man won a Nobel Prize, for goodness sake! I believe, however, that Dr. Kissinger is a pretty funny guy, and if approached properly, would be willing to make a commercial as long as it was a fun experience.

A potential line would be, "A true diplomat knows how difficult it can be to bring together two parties. It takes patience, time, dedication. But to bring 23 different flavors together, plus even a kiss of cherry ... well, that's truly amazing. Trust me, I'm a doctor!" I can just envision him now with that funky accent. Personally, I think the accent is what would make the ad ... never underestimate the comedy potential of a funny accent!!

I really think this one could be historic. Of course, there's a slight drawback in that there are some extremists on the political front who have it out for him, but I think that group would be extremely small, especially now that the presidential administration is more to their liking. Besides, if you're willing to put someone as potentially controversial as Gene Simmons in your campaign, I'm willing to bet Henry Kissinger won't upset you too much.

As an aside, you should probably avoid Neil Patrick Harris, as he's already portrayed Doogie Howser in an Old Spice ad. You should also probably avoid all of the Scrubs guys, as I don't think that show has the widespread appeal that you're trying to capture.

Anyway, that's all I've got right now. If you like those, I can probably come up with some more. Don't worry about compensation, either. I just think it'd be cool to see these commercials on the air. If you want to use any of them, just send me some Diet Dr. Pepper and we'll be cool. (I'm trying to drop a few pounds, so no regular Dr. Pepper for me.)

Until next time,
The Jim

---

Special thanks to my main man Brian, who brainstormed most of the above items with me. Henry Kissinger, by the way, was his personal favorite.